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Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct Blow Me Blow Me Half Broke Horses The Glass Castle Steve Jobs

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Welcome to my blog on dating in Los Angeles.  I hope you find my real life stories and anecdotes on being smart, sexy and single in the City of Angels as amusing (and tragic) as I do.  If you enjoy reading my posts, please share this blog site with your friends, family, loved ones, and less loved ones.  

Please check out my Sex and the City style novel Blow Me—available now in e-book and paperback on my website and lulu.com. Also available in ebook on amazon.com and Google books.

Entries in Dating in Los Angeles (44)


Here Kitty, Kitty…

Match.com recently rated LA as one of the top ten cities for divorced women with children: making Los Angeles less of a City of Angeles and more a City of Cougars. I’m confused. Does that mean divorced with children is appealing to men? It seems most single men want nothing to do with divorced women—particularly if they have children. Where's the fun in that? Evidently for young men, there's lots of fun in these single Cougar MILFs. 

Lately a lot of 25-year old boys have been flirting with me. When I say flirting, I mean clearly wanting to get it on with me. At least these boys have the cohones to ask me out—more than I can say for 40-60 year old men who seem more accustomed to dialing a number and having a girl show up for an hour than following traditional dating etiquette. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to wrap my head around dating someone younger than me. I guess some people do it—have sex with people half their age—because they can. Maybe it comes from a fear of dying, a quest for eternal youth—like Dorian Gray—or a mere appreciation for beauty, but I think it comes from insecurity.

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Let’s Do Lunch—Naked

When I first arrived in Los Angeles, years ago, a talent manager invited me to dinner under the pretense of discussing my future. I declined the after-dinner invitation to have sex with him. He slithered away and was never heard from again. I was down one talent manager and no farther ahead with my career. I never should have agreed to dinner. I was young and naïve. Now I am neither.

I recently attended several gifting lounges for the 63rd Annual Emmys where dozens of starlets—looking more like porn stars than actresses—paraded around with predatory producer types who have neither credentials nor business cards. One such producer offered to introduce me to the head of a major network to help turn my novel into a TV show. Sounds enticing to the naïve Hollywood outsider. In reality, a seasoned Angelino such as myself knows that one does not bypass agents and attorneys and set up meetings without having a) read the material or b) constructed a well-rehearsed pitch. Our correspondence went something like this:

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7 Great First Dates in Los Angeles

First dates can be boring and awkward. Two people who hardly know each other sit across the table from one another and play twenty questions. Sometimes a date can feel more like an interview for the CEO of a Fortune 500 company by an executive recruiting firm than a prelude to romance. If you’re bored with the traditional dinner date, it’s time to take dating out of the restaurant and into the outdoors. Doing something ‘out of the box’ on a date can take the focus off running through the compatibility checklist and put the focus back on having fun. Not to mention, if the conversation is dry or hits a silent patch, you’ve got other things to do. Here are a few ways to get the fires going in an unconventional way:

1. Paddle Board in The Pacific: In Marina Del Rey or Malibu, you can rent a couple of paddle boards and get out on the ocean. It’s affordable, fun and the negative ions will wipe out any first-date negative energy. In Marina Del Rey at Mother’s Beach, you can visit Poseiden Stand Up. Rates start at $40 for 2 hours and classes are available at $120 for an hour and a half. Or, drive 15 minutes up the coast to Malibu Surf Shack where boards are $45 for 2 hours; wetsuits an extra $10. For the really adventuresome, take surfing lessons together. Either way, you’ll have a whale of a good time, forget all about being on a date and really learn what the other person is made of when they fall off their board and into the brisk Pacific Ocean. Do they laugh or complain? Do they get up and try again or do they quit? You’d be surprised what you can learn about someone when they’re out of their comfort zone. After paddling around the bay, have a drink and appetizers on the patio of The Malibu Beach Inn and enjoy the sunset. If your date goes really well, you can always get a room!

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Wouldn't It Be Nice? (or... would it?)

I was thinking of a certain man... not a specific man... as much as a type of man I have come across repeatedly...over and over again... during my time in Los Angeles... the type of man who is at the top of his game... successful, in his 60s, and according to him "in his prime". He has everything he could desire... except for that one woman to share it with...the perfect woman...she is eloquent, beautiful, graceful, a size two, 110 lbs, with an amazing body and rock hard abs. She's in her 40s, natural, no synthetics, no fillers, and looks like she's in her early 30s. She is Sasha Grey in the sack, Martha Stewart in the kitchen, and your BFF in every other circumstance. She is for all intents and purposes Wonder Woman.  And, it made me think of this song by the Beach Boys:

Wouldn't It Be Nice...

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older

Then we wouldn't have to wait so long

And wouldn't it be nice to live together

In the kind of world where we belong

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Is The Grass Greener Or Do I Need Lasik Surgery?

One of my favorite movies is Runaway Bride, a romantic comedy in which Julia Roberts plays a small-town girl who bolts before saying “I do”.  Plenty of brides have cold feet.  According to an article in Marie-Claire which I mention in my blog “why I’m not married”, an astonishing 30-percent of now divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong man as they walked down the aisle. With that in mind, I can’t help wondering if its human nature to have doubts about the one we’re with. Is there something innate which drives so many men (and women) to have infidelities? Are they testing the waters, merely seeking a way to confirm whether they have chosen correctly, or are they simply bored?

In my blog Single O.B.O., I talk about how Angelinos are reluctant to commit to a party or dinner date, because they are waiting for the better offer. The same can be said for relationships—at least in Los Angeles. What is it about people that we always thinking there is something better on the other side of the fence? We’re not necessarily unhappy in our relationship, but we always feel we can be happier. I guess that’s why it’s called the pursuit of happiness.

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Good Friends

I was walking through Whole Foods the other day noting how much the aisles look like a movie set where the products all have unrecognizable brands so as to avoid a lawsuit or give anyone any free publicity. And, I came across a rather creepy looking photo on a cereal box.

The cereal is called Good Friends. The photo is of a hispanic man and white woman in their sixties, smiling very uncomfortably while holding a giant bowl of high-fiber cereal that appears as large as their heads. Whether they are uncomfortable from consuming 50% of their daily fiber, from marketing a product targeted to seniors, or due to some unspoken interracial tension, I will never know. But it got me thinking about what else is wrong with this picture.

How often do you see a handsome older man with a woman of his age group? Never in Los Angeles, I tell you. On the rare occasion you do, the man is not smiling. He is not canoodling. He is not playing footsie. He is sitting across from his septuagenarian counterpart eating in silence and gawking at whatever hot, young woman crosses his line of vision. Not unlike one of the opening scenes in Crazy Stupid Love when Steve Carrell and Julianne Moore, as Cal and Emily, are having dinner.

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